Wedding bells!

So, my fiance and I have finally decided to start planning our wedding again.... 

I say again because we have been trying to get married for about a year and a half, maybe two and we have had to reschedule every time due to either getting laid off, moving or just plain old financial struggles. But things are getting better here with us so we have decided to go ahead with the planning which now brings me to my health and nutrition. I now have set an even higher goal. I need to loose weight so that I can feel good in my wedding dress. 

Now... I'm not saying that only skinny girls look awesome in a wedding dress, but you have to remember that I am currently at my heaviest and I can't even bare to look at myself in the mirror. 

I really think that my issue has something to do with my confidence. Even when I was a size 7, I was still not happy with myself. I was always covering up and making sure that nothing was too tight or even showing cleavage. I have gotten a lot better with the cleavage part but still hate when anything is too tight on me, I don't have the confidence. I do know a few girls that are heavier than me and who feel GREAT in WHATEVER they wear! I wish I had that confidence. I would love to wear a two piece and feel AWESOME! BRAVO to those women! I just don't have that confidence.

Makes me think though, perhaps I need to work on getting some confidence and maybe I'll feel good about myself.....

Anyway, I'm done with the rambling, this turned in to a completely different blog, lol. But I guess that this is something that does have to be talked about, even if you loose a lot of weight, some people will always view themselves as heavier than what they actually are. Maybe venting to a close family member/friend or even on  a blog may help..... 

Anyways, done venting, back to work now!